Marval Movie

The first Twilight movie made your eyes widen with it's stupidity and impressive lack of depth. New Moon will have your eyes popping out of your skull and jaw hitting the floor.

Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are together living the life of a fairly normal couple in High-school but with Bella's birthday comes the reminder that she will age while Edward will not, so what does this mean for their future? The drawbacks for being a vampire don't seem like a very heavy toll, yet Edward refuses to turn her into one and while she is around him and his family she will apparently be in-danger (this just seems like commitment issues to me). So Edward and his family leave, never to return again.

With Edward gone, Bella then attracts the attention of another boy in town named Jacob (Taylor Lautner). He is really in-shape (a little too much for a "sixteen-year-old"), if you as an audience member hasn't noticed, then Bella will point it out for you, if the fact is still not embedded in your mind then he will find ways to take off his top and display his physic in plain view before you.

Being that she cannot physically be with Edward she opts for the next best thing, putting herself in adrenaline filled as-well as extremely dangerous situations so that a hallucination of Edward appears before her telling her that what she's doing in stupid. These are not the actions of a separated lover, these are the actions of a crazy person, plain and simple.

It is then revealed that this in-shape young man Jacob, as-well as the other in-shape young men that he spends his time (all of whom seem to have an aversion to wearing any kind of tops) are all Werewolves. These are actually fairly standard Werewolves, they stay in a pack, have more animistic tendencies and can transform themselves into giant sized wolves either when they want or when they become feral (so don't make them angry). If a full moon is involved in anyway it's not brought up.

This is a sequel in the sense that it tops the first movie in the depths of the characters tragic psychological state and level of stupidity. Again, much like the first movie only more impressive, this will implant itself in your memory for its unflinching display of insane character and not even know that is what it's doing.

Rating: 1 1/2 stars out of 4