Marval Movie

Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars movie. At this point all focus had been lost and it would play to the lowest common denominator. This is rock bottom for the entire movie franchise. 

Episode two picks up a few years after the last one left off, with Anakin (Hayden Christensen) now an elderly teenager and he and his master Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) have shared many adventures and are working partners. They are needed to protect the former queen, Padme (Natalie Portman).

Anakin and Padme head to the planet of Naboo where a lot of questions popped up to me. One, she says that she "wasn't the youngest queen elected" who the hell voted for a child? Two, what exactly is the age difference between these two? Anakin has clearly aged but Padme looks the same, are they four years or ten years apart? And then there is the creepy obrolan that the actors are forced to say, very unconvincingly. It is some of the most awkward moments that you will have to sit through in scenes that is meant to be heartfelt.

In the last movie Jake Llyod gave a bad performance with a bad script. In this movie, Hayden Christensen delivers a terrible, grading, insufferable performance with an abysmal script. All of Anakin's obrolan consists of either creepy attempts at romance, him claiming to be the best and hating Obi-Wan Kenobi for not giving him more responsibilities. I wonder why he wouldn't trust the insufferable little twit.

Still in all the actors there is faith to be found in Ewan McGregor's performance as Obi-Wan. You really do believe that this man will become the wise old Alec Guinness, he even adds some subtle Guinness tones to his delivery. 

The villain for this movie is a former Jedi by the name of Count Dooku, played by the always gripping Christopher Lee. Lee has the perfect voice for a villain, booming and with a hint of condescending.

During the movie Obi-Wan is on the trail of a bounty hunter and I realized that planets serve as neighborhoods in this universe. If someone knows your on a planet then they'll track you down pretty fast. Aren't planets big, with lots of hiding places? What kind of technology or force powers do they have if being on a planet narrows down their search immensely. 

The  highlight of the movie comes near the end where we get to see Yoda (Frank Oz) go lightsaber to lightsaber to Count Dooku. He is like a tiny man-frog with his skill. This really doesn't make any sense, one is why is he fighting with a lightsaber when he clearly has more than enough skill with the force? The second is that if he is so skilled and agile then why does he have the cane and move so slowly, could it be a deceptive act? But at this point in the movie it doesn't matter because you've already been bogged down with so much boring, poorly played-out scenes that when this scene comes along it is a merciful oasis. The scene is fun, silly and pretty awesome, you wont regret it.

If you can watch this movie and either say it wasn't really that bad, or even after it you still want more Star Wars then you should be fine because this is as bad as it gets. It has less memorable moments that Episode I and the moments that you do remember are bad.

Rating: 2 stars out of 4